Tough Mudder 09th June 2013
Sunday 09th June is a very significant day, it’s
the reason why you are reading this blog, and why I chose this charity to
fund-raise for. It’s the anniversary of a little dude that I never knew, yet has
been an inspiration for me to keep going when things get tough. No matter how hard
you find a race, or just life in general sometimes, it pails into
insignificance in comparison to what families have to endure when this disease
crashes into their lives. We shouldn't forget the reason why we choose a
charity to represent and the story behind it, and it’s been a privilege to run
in the bright Mr Men colours for Children with Cancer. Thank you to everyone
who has donated so far, the money goes a long way to finding a cure and
irradiating this monstrous disease.
Today’s blog is for Daniel.
Butterflies, stomach churns, wobbly legs, dread, and it’s
only Thursday. Sunday is approaching fast (as is my paranoia about dying or
being fatally wounded in the Tough Mudder field). I had jokingly announced on
FaceBook that I had to sign a death waiver before I entered the race, three
pages telling me how my next of kin wouldn’t be able to sue anyone should I not
make it back to base camp, ha ha ha …ha … erm .. hold up … how tough is this
going to be exactly, let’s have a look at what the organisers say ‘Tough Mudder
events are hard-core 12 mile long obstacle courses designed by the Special
Forces to test your all round strength, stamina, mental grit and camaraderie.
Probably the toughest event on the planet’ …. Soooooo not quite your average Sunday morning
run then.
It wasn’t all frequent trips to the toilet though, in the
days approaching the event I was getting more and more excited, the night
before I prepped my bag, dusted off my old sneaks (which still had the mud on
them from Hellrunner) and counted out the essentials. It’s funny how things go
hand in hand when you’re organising your kit bag …. Shoes and socks, top and
shorts, death waiver and Imodium!!. An early night was needed to so I headed up
to bed thinking that the electric shocks won’t be that bad surely and set my
alarm for 6am.
Bouncing out of bed I run downstairs like a kid at
Christmas, get changed into my kit, eat my jam on toast and wait for the
Imodium to kick in. Martyn parks up and we are on our way to pick up the third
Mudder Lisa. The sun is poking out behind some clouds so it looks like it’s
going to be a nice day, we jump in with Lisa and her Mum Brenda (who is
official spectator and photographer extraordinaire for the day) and we set off
for Winchester.
When we reach the event we walk down to the base camp, this
is pretty impressive, there are numerous food stalls and merchandise stands and
various people in fancy dress and war paint. We register and promptly get our
number written on our head in permanent marker pen for ‘insurance purposes’. We
dump our bags and take a few ‘before’ photo shots before we nervously make our
way towards the start line.
The compere guy is amazing, he is like a cross breed of
motivational speaker meets sergeant major, he makes no bones about the fact
that all of us may not make it round the course, and which obstacles to avoid
if you have a weak heart so you don’t die. With a final Hoo-Rah we are
off.. I can’t remember all the obstacles
and what order they come in but I will pick out the ones that stick in my head
and the ones that hurt the most.
Basically hills link up the obstacles, the view is great and
the anticipation between each one is amazing, there are a lot of things to
climb over and under, plenty of barbed wire, lots of water, flames, ice,
heights, jumping, crawling, shed loads of mud, and too much bloody electricity
!!
Our first major obstacle was the water jump, it’s about 15
foot into 4 metres of water, which sounds fine, Lisa however is not a strong
swimmer, courage plucked and deep breath taken we all jump in, it seems like
you are under for ages, and because it is so dirty you have no concept of where
the surface is, kicking upwards I emerge like a muddy otter, Lisa bobs up next
to me and is swiftly rescued by an inflatable tyre and a lifeguard, we scramble
to the side and are up and out for the next one. Monkey bars = more water, I
get about half way before I slipped off, of course I could have made it all the
way, it was just too slippery ;o)
The next obstacle, and third worst in my opinion, is the
Arctic Enema!! Pits of frozen water and ice waiting to freeze any known hanging
appendages and shrink them into tiny fun size versions of their former glory.
Martyn jumped in first, the very fact that he was unable to breathe or talk was
a bit off putting, coupled with the fact that his head had adopted a red glow
comparable with that of snow monkey made this seem like a bad idea. I took a
deep breath and jumped in, upon impact I immediately made the internationally
recognised noise of someone lowering their bum into a very hot bath,
ohohohohohohohhohohohohohohoh said out loud with inward and outward breaths, I then
have to dive underneath the water and emerge the other side where my team mates
are waiting to pull me out. Through the brain freeze Martyn and I quickly
establish that that obstacle is definitely worse for men than women!!
The running between each obstacle was awesome, taking in the
countryside and hills, we breezed through carrying logs, and getting muddy,
piggy backs and fire jumping, we made short work of the buoyant stepping stones
and even the other water events. Then came the electric shocks!! Orange wires
hanging down like Dutch shoelaces of hell, I have seen this on YouTube and it
looks painful, the rumours are that they carry 10,000 volts, and we are on our
bellies in 4 inches of water, crawling through like a carpet commando. I get
halfway and think this is ok, if I have been hit I haven’t really felt it, I
have dodged a few, I think I might be alright …. CHIRST ON A BIKE .. it feels
like a donkey has laced up his Dr Martins, taken a run up, and delivered a mule
kick from Hades to my ribs, this shizzle is not funny, that bloody hurt, I now
make it my mission to get out of there as soon as possible, this of course
means not being too fussy about picking my way through the wires as they cackle
and laugh whilst bouncing off my body, one final hit to the knee as I climb out
sends me on my way.
This event is all about team work, working well as a team we
count down the miles, it almost seems a shame that it is all over, there is
definitely more left in the tank and only two obstacles left, we can see the
base camp and smell the burgers, the Strongbow signs make the last couple of
miles even more bearable as the finish line looms up, just Everest and the
electric eel run to do. Everest is a
half- pipe 15 foot high that you need to run up and grab the top to pull
yourself up, approaching it we decide to all sprint together to see if we can
make it, arms pumping and legs bursting I make a run for it, the crowd are
cheering and I feel great, I reach the top with room to spare and turn around
just in time to see Lisa sliding down on her belly and Martyn’s outstretched
hand. We all scramble up and over which means one thing.. more bloody electric
shocks.
We watch as the guy in front is floored by the voltage, this
isn’t like when you shuffle across the carpet in your slippers, this is the
real deal, each hanging wire delivers enough volts to floor a full grown man,
let alone a skinny 5ft 7'' version!! We can see the finish line just beyond, we can
almost taste the sweet apply cider and smell the victory of taming this course.
Looking at each other like condemned soldiers about to go over the top we make
a break for it …… CHRIST ON A BIKE …. The donkey is back and he has brought
some friends this time, fall-running we make it to the end, high fives and big
ten’s breaking out as we cross the finish line in under two hours. Emotional,
but not broken as we are coronated with our Tough Mudder orange headbands
Thanks again for to everyone who has donated to this wonderful
charity. Every penny counts so if you have a spare £1 please visit the
following page. Thank You
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